In the novel, Gone With the Wind, the main character Scarlett often says "I'll think about that tomorrow." At the very end of the novel, the love of her life is walking away and her response is to think about it tomorrow. Have you every done or said that to yourself about something that is hard and you don't want to face? I will think about that tomorrow. I have and quite frequently, about many things in my life.
Now it is not always bad to put off thinking about and dealing with something that is hard. However, when tomorrow keeps getting pushed further and further away it can be downright destructive. Sadly there is one area of my life that for about a year now I have been in denial about. I have said numerous times to myself and others, "I will worry about that after....(fill in the blank: we move, the winter is over, this stressful situation is done, etc.)" In a sense I was saying, "I'll think about that tomorrow." Pulling a Scarlett.
It is my weight and eating habits. Years ago after a couple years of marriage where I could challenge my husband in the who can eat more contest, I was overweight. How did I know? My clothes didn't fit for one, but also because I was tired all the time. Yes, I had struggles and trials that were making me sad and maybe even a little tired and depressed. It was the beginning of my infertility journey. You better believe I was sad. However, sadness does not go away by worrying about it tomorrow and continuing to go the same path. Food does not heal that sadness.
In order to be happy, we have to shake things up and not dwell on what we can't change. Instead we need to focus on what we can change and improve. That is what I decided to do years ago when I joined weight watchers with my mother. As my roommate in college once told me, "Exercise is not your problem. It is what you eat. You are never going to loose weight eating the way you do?" She was right then and she is right now. Exercise is not my problem. I love to exercise. My problem is that I turn to food for boredom, comfort, and everything else. One day I literally headed straight for the pantry when I got off a stressful phone call. In my head I was thinking, "What are you doing? You are not even hungry. You are just stressed."
Weight watchers worked for me because I had to say no a lot and be careful and selective about what I ate. I was not perfect, but when I had a bad day I would try harder the next day. The problem is that over the last year I have been in some serious denial. As the scale number was going up, I kept telling myself that it was not that bad because I was still not at my heaviest number. I was just adding some winter insulation and during the summer I would get rid of it. These and so many other thoughts to push off actually thinking and dealing with the problem.
The truth is that the extra weight did and does matter. Since I love to exercise, those extra pounds are injuring my body. For every 5 extra lbs that I add to my body, I am adding 20 lbs of pressure to my joints. Which means, that my squats have about 60 lbs of additional pressure on my knees and they hurt. My shoulder injury from pushups have been struggling under an unnecessary 60 lbs of additional pressure. (see http://www.arthritis.org/living-with-arthritis/comorbidities/obesity-arthritis/fat-and-arthritis.php for more information on how being overweight affects your body) I am injuring myself for what? Extra food that makes me tired and doesn't make the stress go away. So that I can live in denial and pretend that I am only a little chunky and my body is just getting old?
This last week or so I have decided that I am sick of being tired and having injuries to my body. I do not need winter insulation. Instead I am taking back control of my body and mind from food. I am doing this by no longer eating after I put my girls to bed, drinking lots of water, eating more fruits and vegetables, decreasing the sweets substantially, eliminating stress eating, and watching my portions. It is not easy and I am already slipping a little, but I will not give up the fight. I am worth it and if I don't take control of the eating habits, then why am I wasting my time exercising. I will never have the results I want without both exercise and healthy eating being a permanent part of my life.
Maybe this is your struggle to. If it is, I commend you for every battle won, every dessert passed up, every vegetable eaten, every late night snacking desire ignored, and all the water you have flushed through your body.
If this is not your struggle, is there something else that you are putting off thinking about until tomorrow? What is it? Has tomorrow, turned into next week, next month, next year... It is time to face the struggle with a positive outlook on your future. Drop the negative thoughts about what is holding you back and go forward with confidence that you can overcome.
I am not on this weight loss journey again because I hate being fat and my body. I am doing it because I love myself and I deserve a healthy body. I want to look good and feel good for myself. I deserve it and so do you. Even if this journey is for me, I know it will not just impact myself. As I eat healthier, so does my family. In the end, something I do for myself will improve my entire families life. I am worth the time and attention because I am a very important part of my family. So are you!
Monday, October 12, 2015
Friday, July 24, 2015
Honoring Sacrifice
As I hear the cannon fire and each state named in order of joining the United States of America, I am transported back in time when a group of people are boarding a boat seeking freedom to practice their religion. Then my mind flashes forward to another group meeting together to declare their independence. Finally in my mind’s eye, I see these people coming together again to find common ground and create a constitution. Interestingly enough, the first amendment in this new constitution contains the right to establish and practice the religion of your choice. A right that was fought for on many occasions and one of the reasons many had come, and still come, to this amazing country; The United States of America.
Every year all of America celebrates our independence and our freedom on July 4th. We celebrate with barbeques, families get together, swimming, watermelon, corn, and the beautiful bursts of noise and color in our firework shows. Being on a military installation to celebrate this day is a different experience then celebrating it anywhere else. I would recommend that everyone take the opportunity to celebrate with Veterans when possible. A military base celebration of Independence Day can have many of the same typical components as everywhere, but there is a feeling that it different. Maybe it is the strict stand at attention with shoulders pulled back and necks stiff as the national anthem is played. Or perhaps it is the knowledge that each and every person there has sacrificed for their countries freedom. Soldiers have left homes and families and seen horrors they can neverunsee. Wives and husbands have kept the home front going becoming a single parent for a time and pushing the fear of losing their loved one aside. Some have lost a loved one, a dear friend, their brother or sister in arms, or have simply come home forever changed.
As the spouse of a military soldier I have experienced some of these things, watched as dear friends dealt with others of them, and will endure even more in the coming years. In many ways, I count it as a privilege to sacrifice for my country and for freedom to continue. Whenever it is time to pack up and move again, I think of all the founding fathers went through to provide freedom for me and my family and my sacrifice pales in comparison. Those original colonists truly left all they ever knew and took a chance on a new place. I can look on the internet and see what housing options, activities, and local life a new place offers. They had to blindly take a chance on the unknown.
How do we honor their sacrifice? Is a barbecue and fireworks enough?
My life and many others have been affected by more than just the sacrifice of those original American pioneers. I have also been blessed by the sacrifice of pioneers of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints. In a country started in many ways by the desire for freedom of religious beliefs, the early saints for the LDS church were persecuted heavily. They truly sacrificed much to freely practice their religion. They were driven from every US city that they went to. They were shot at, killed and even had an extermination order issued against them in Missouri. They finally fled outside of the geographical United States territory toward the greatunknown of the west. Sadly, they were unable to receive that fundamental right to worship and be free from persecution until they were no longer a part of the US. Thankfully, that has since changed and members of the LDS church are no longer hunted down.
Among these LDS pioneers were some of my own ancestors and they have left me a legacy of sacrifice. In the month of July we celebrate not just our country, but also Pioneer day. In Utah they celebrate this day with parades and various other activities. Unfortunately, I have never been in Utah on that day. I have only experienced a simple ward celebration for that day. Yet, I still feel like I have seen LDS pioneers' sacrifices honored. In Nauvoo countless wonderful missionaries daily reenact and honor the sacrifice of LDS pioneers. It is easy to see and feel of the sacrifice of those early pioneers when you see the amount of work that goes into building a wagon or when you feel of their faith through their stories. It is almost as if you are stepping back in time and you finally understand their lives. You understand why leaving the homes they built was a sacrifice. They did that for me and for so many others like me who would be blessed by being a Mormon.
When we honor those sacrifices of pioneers, whether they be the pioneers of United States or LDS pioneers, we are blessed because it helps us remember the gifts we have been given. We have been blessed with freedom and that freedom, especially the freedom of practicing our religion and our beliefs, is worth honoring. One of the best ways we can honor it is by not letting it slip from our grasp. We can fight for that freedom to continue to be available to all and learn, as the founding fathers learned, to find a way to work together in spite of our differences.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Strong Parents
There are experiences that define each of us and change who we become. In an earlier post I wrote about a car accident my family experienced. It was an experience that changed almost every one in my family. As an older teenager when it happened, I can honestly say it was a traumatic event for me. However, I can also say that I am so glad for the lessons learned. One of those lessons was the strength of my parents. They are both some of the most amazing people you would ever meet. No matter what life throws at them, you can not keep them down for long. I hope that I can be even a tenth of the kind of parent that they are.
At the time, I could not fully process everything. I was a Senior in high school getting ready for college. I remember I had a history teacher that first semester who was really hard and strict. He was not very understanding of me arriving to school more than 3 days late. I really struggled in the class because of the homework and my deep desire to spend as much time as possible with my parents. Yet, I was really shy and did not have the nerve to tell him my personal struggles. Instead I did the best I could. At the end of the year I left him a small note on the back of my final. I have no idea if he read it or cared, but I really did not want to be judged on my performance that year. It was not my best year in so many ways.
Sometimes it is hard when you are going through bad times to see the light at the end of the tunnel or understand why you are going through the experience. Each and every one of us involved had our own experience and our own way of dealing with it. I can promise you that the Lord wants you to go through whatever it is and not just for you. You are a big influence to your kids and so many other people around you. So take heart if it is one of those rough times for you (divorce, car accident, death of a family member, family drama, financial stress, etc.). Whatever you are going through, I promise you if you take it to the Lord he will eventually help you to know the reason for it. However, I do caution you look up and don't dwell too long in the pity party. It is ok to mourn and be upset for the stresses of life, but do not stay there. Negative never helps lift you up, it just keeps you down. Look for the positives in your life, even if you can not find positives about the current trial.
My parents example throughout the whole experience and the years afterwards have left an impact on me. As part of a writing class I took at the local library, I was given writing assignments. Since I love my parents and find them inspiring I wrote about each of them for two separate assignments.
The first assignment was to write about someone you admire and I wrote about part of my mother's experience recovering from the accident:
Later in the series of classes I was given the assignment to write about an object. I wrote about my dad's screw (It was published in a local newspaper write up on the class):
The over sized callused hands covered in age spots, freckles, and some dark hairs shakes the old-school film canister. A rattle comes from within in response to the shake. He thinks of how no one really uses film anymore, but that isn't why he is drawn toward this container. Nor is it because of the sound that it makes as he shakes it and the screw inside moves around.
It is that simple screw, a reminder of a wound worthy of Achilles himself. After all it was his Achilles tendon that was snapped in two; in addition to both his ankles being broken. Wounds that a simple screw and a couple casts would fix, but would leave him forever changed. Forever unable to sustain walking for long distances and create a swelling in that right foot and ankle that would dub him "elephantitis foot" from his children.
Such a small moment in time to affect his body and activities the rest of his life. Isn't life just a collection of these small moments in time. He wondered why he kept this screw, other than the fact that it had at one time been a part of his body. A reminder of that day was not needed, it was in every step and every hard days work. Always there.
He supposed that he could try to do less, but he honestly did not know how. His mind and spirit were hardwired to move and keep active and engaged. Pain is just an opportunity to show strength. The opportunity to break down barriers and grow stronger. Just as muscles scream out in pain as they are torn down, his spirit screamed out in protest to keep moving. And like his muscles, his spirit every day finds the break down as a chance to grow stronger. So why keep the screw; he didn't know other than it was a part of him.
Their example continues to teach me so much. It just goes to show that a parents job is never over and we always need them. So to all you good parents out there. Take heart, keep doing the best you can and know that it does make a difference.
At the time, I could not fully process everything. I was a Senior in high school getting ready for college. I remember I had a history teacher that first semester who was really hard and strict. He was not very understanding of me arriving to school more than 3 days late. I really struggled in the class because of the homework and my deep desire to spend as much time as possible with my parents. Yet, I was really shy and did not have the nerve to tell him my personal struggles. Instead I did the best I could. At the end of the year I left him a small note on the back of my final. I have no idea if he read it or cared, but I really did not want to be judged on my performance that year. It was not my best year in so many ways.
Sometimes it is hard when you are going through bad times to see the light at the end of the tunnel or understand why you are going through the experience. Each and every one of us involved had our own experience and our own way of dealing with it. I can promise you that the Lord wants you to go through whatever it is and not just for you. You are a big influence to your kids and so many other people around you. So take heart if it is one of those rough times for you (divorce, car accident, death of a family member, family drama, financial stress, etc.). Whatever you are going through, I promise you if you take it to the Lord he will eventually help you to know the reason for it. However, I do caution you look up and don't dwell too long in the pity party. It is ok to mourn and be upset for the stresses of life, but do not stay there. Negative never helps lift you up, it just keeps you down. Look for the positives in your life, even if you can not find positives about the current trial.
My parents example throughout the whole experience and the years afterwards have left an impact on me. As part of a writing class I took at the local library, I was given writing assignments. Since I love my parents and find them inspiring I wrote about each of them for two separate assignments.
The first assignment was to write about someone you admire and I wrote about part of my mother's experience recovering from the accident:
You might not
notice a difference in the way she walks unless you really pay attention. Not enough of a difference to cause you to
wonder why she walks that way. Nothing
that would tell you that for over a decade she has had 3 metal rods and at
least 6 screws in the middle of her leg bones keeping them straight and making it
possible for her to walk. That she
underwent physical therapy at the age of 44 to relearn how to walk. It was months of pain and taking one step literally
at a time, to learn how to be able to put one foot in front of the other. Pain that came from her bones melding
together with titanium and healing until they became one. Still longer when she finally got home, to take one more stair step each day until
she could finally go up the stairs to her own bed again.
Her walk would take years to perfect to get
to the point that it is now, where you could hardly tell anything was different
about her legs. At first it was almost a duck waddle
where the legs were not lifted, but more shifted forward. When she was teased by her children for
waddling, it became an exaggerated lift.
The knee lift was high and came from the hips and looked painful. Still it wasn't a normal walk and you could
tell that something was different about her legs for a few more years.
She never gave up though and continued to
strive to forget the metal and bring her walk and life to some sense of
normalcy. The pain would not go away
and over the years that small spot of bone missing would only barely start to
heal and grow bone. However, keeping her
legs covered with pants, stockings, or long skirts would prevent all but the
keenest observer from noticing that difference as well.
Now you can't tell, but that simple walk of
hers is a walk of strength. A walk of
defiance that you can't keep her down and she will fight whatever battle life
has to offer. She will do Crossfit,
spinning, bicycling, and anything else she wants. She refuses to be labeled or thought of as
handicapped. After all she isn't, just
look at her walk.
Later in the series of classes I was given the assignment to write about an object. I wrote about my dad's screw (It was published in a local newspaper write up on the class):
The over sized callused hands covered in age spots, freckles, and some dark hairs shakes the old-school film canister. A rattle comes from within in response to the shake. He thinks of how no one really uses film anymore, but that isn't why he is drawn toward this container. Nor is it because of the sound that it makes as he shakes it and the screw inside moves around.
It is that simple screw, a reminder of a wound worthy of Achilles himself. After all it was his Achilles tendon that was snapped in two; in addition to both his ankles being broken. Wounds that a simple screw and a couple casts would fix, but would leave him forever changed. Forever unable to sustain walking for long distances and create a swelling in that right foot and ankle that would dub him "elephantitis foot" from his children.
Such a small moment in time to affect his body and activities the rest of his life. Isn't life just a collection of these small moments in time. He wondered why he kept this screw, other than the fact that it had at one time been a part of his body. A reminder of that day was not needed, it was in every step and every hard days work. Always there.
He supposed that he could try to do less, but he honestly did not know how. His mind and spirit were hardwired to move and keep active and engaged. Pain is just an opportunity to show strength. The opportunity to break down barriers and grow stronger. Just as muscles scream out in pain as they are torn down, his spirit screamed out in protest to keep moving. And like his muscles, his spirit every day finds the break down as a chance to grow stronger. So why keep the screw; he didn't know other than it was a part of him.
Their example continues to teach me so much. It just goes to show that a parents job is never over and we always need them. So to all you good parents out there. Take heart, keep doing the best you can and know that it does make a difference.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Deleting the cookies
The steam was rising up from the shower when I walked in to talk to my husband. I was overwhelmed, confused, and could not digest the onslaught of thoughts going on in my head. Being an extrovert I needed to talk about it and so I started to talk to him. There was a look of bewilderment on my face and confusion on his as to why I was interrupting his shower. After I talked to him about some of what I was thinking about and needing to do, I asked him what I should do.
His response was his typical creatively worded answer, "You just need to delete the cookies."
For some who may not know what cookies are, no I am not talking about those delicious morsels of sugary goodness that I love. Instead the cookies I am talking about are temporary files, folders, downloads, and other stuff that can take up memory and space on your computer. If they take up too much space, your computer will begin to slow down and eventually quit working all together. It is necessary to periodically delete them to keep your computer at optimal health.
John was right again (it happens I guess). I had so much going on in my head that I was slowing down and almost reaching the point that I can no longer function. My cookies were emotional feelings, stress about our house selling, hating to miss book club, trying to figure out what to do to take care of a sick kid, keeping food in the house, feeding the family, taking care of the bills, trying not to scream at my complaining preteen who wants nothing more than to play with friends, trying to adjust to the fact that my daughters birthday was not going to be the fun shopping trip I had planned because she was sick, and so much more. There is only so much my brain can handle. Frankly it already has a slow processor.
I digest things so slow. It is frustrating when late at night I finally figure out that something I said could have been construed as hurtful or two days later when I come up with a good come back for my little brothers tease. My brain holds everything in it and sometimes I just don't have any more space. It becomes overloaded and every part of me suffers when that happens. It is harder to control my emotions, my negative self talk goes up, depression starts, the kids get yelled at, my husband is the worst husband ever (at least that is what I think at the moment), and so on.
Kind of like this bubble game my kids play. When they try to pop the wrong bubble another one appears. If they keep picking wrong bubbles, the bubbles get faster and increase in number. Finally the screen is filled with bubbles and the game is lost. So, how do I digest everything and know what bubble to pop first. That is what I am trying to learn. I know that writing a blog or in my personal journal helps a lot. A good cry, hitting the punching bag, and a deep heartfelt prayer to my Heavenly Father also helps me. What helps you delete your cookies?
John was right again (it happens I guess). I had so much going on in my head that I was slowing down and almost reaching the point that I can no longer function. My cookies were emotional feelings, stress about our house selling, hating to miss book club, trying to figure out what to do to take care of a sick kid, keeping food in the house, feeding the family, taking care of the bills, trying not to scream at my complaining preteen who wants nothing more than to play with friends, trying to adjust to the fact that my daughters birthday was not going to be the fun shopping trip I had planned because she was sick, and so much more. There is only so much my brain can handle. Frankly it already has a slow processor.
I digest things so slow. It is frustrating when late at night I finally figure out that something I said could have been construed as hurtful or two days later when I come up with a good come back for my little brothers tease. My brain holds everything in it and sometimes I just don't have any more space. It becomes overloaded and every part of me suffers when that happens. It is harder to control my emotions, my negative self talk goes up, depression starts, the kids get yelled at, my husband is the worst husband ever (at least that is what I think at the moment), and so on.
Kind of like this bubble game my kids play. When they try to pop the wrong bubble another one appears. If they keep picking wrong bubbles, the bubbles get faster and increase in number. Finally the screen is filled with bubbles and the game is lost. So, how do I digest everything and know what bubble to pop first. That is what I am trying to learn. I know that writing a blog or in my personal journal helps a lot. A good cry, hitting the punching bag, and a deep heartfelt prayer to my Heavenly Father also helps me. What helps you delete your cookies?
Judgements
My church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) is a world wide church that is lead by a prophet of God. Along with the prophet there are other leaders in various positions, (apostles, priests, seventy, etc.) that help lead, guide and direct our church. A few of these leaders are women who are in charge of organizations for the women (Relief Society), young women, and children (Primary). Twice a year we have a meeting where the leaders of those organizations speak to all the women of the church around the world. It is broadcast on the Internet and we can watch it at church or in our homes.
I was at one of these broadcasts a few years ago and thinking about the women who lead our church. At the time, each one had like 6 kids and lived in Utah. I was anxious to hear what they had to say, but more than that. I wondered what they could say that would help me because their life experiences seemed very different from mine and very similar to each other. In fact, I thought to myself that their lives appeared easy and they hadn't suffered much at all. All these judgments from me came from reading a very short bio about them.
At that meeting, I remember being relieved to hear that their life had not been easy and these women had a lot to offer me and the world. Flash forward a couple years to just this last month. Here I was sitting in a different chapel listening to some amazing women leaders speak and the first counselor of the Relief Society, Sister Carole M. Stephens, answered my unspoken prayer from two years ago. Sister Stephens told me how these women and really all the leaders of the church including the prophet can lead and guide us even if they have not had the same experiences we have had.
Here is the link to her talk:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2015/04?lang=eng&vid=4140514097001&cid=4
Sister Stephens talked about how there are many experiences she has not had and while she went through the list, I wondered why she was naming all the things she had not gone through. Then she said what I had needed to hear all along. Even though she may not have gone through those experiences, she knows people who have gone through them. More than that, Sister Stephens and the other leaders have worked hard their whole life to be close to their Heavenly Father. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have a complete understanding of all the experiences and trials that life can bring. As Sister Stephens works at being close to her Heavenly Father she draws upon His understanding and can truly know how to lead and guide us.
Wait a minute....That means she and the other leaders are qualified to lead us not only because of what they have endured, but also their personal relationship to God. I know that each and every one of our leaders are called of God and they do not lobby or petition for their calling. Most are hesitant to accept it, but do because they want to do the Lord's will.
To go along with this amazing answer to my sassy thoughts from years ago, my friend Jillian Garrett recently said something to me that I know will stick with me forever. We were talking about the temple (A special place where we go to do the work of the Lord, very similar to the temple work mentioned in the bible. Without the sacrificing of animals, as that ended with the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ.). Jillian said something along the lines of, "Don't you love how when you go to the temple you see people as they can be. Almost as if you can see them the way God views them." Jill is so right. It is much harder to focus on the flaws of a person that is actively working for the good of others and trying to become closer to the Lord at the same time. The temple provides the perfect place to do that.
If only I could use that vision of seeing people the way God sees them and viewing their eternal potential, then I would not make those rash judgements. Maybe I wouldn't have wondered what my leaders could teach me when they had no personal knowledge of my struggles. I would have known what is in their heart and how receptive they are to the spirit. I know I will fall short again, but hopefully I will try a little harder to see people for the potential of what they can become and will hold back rash judgements.
I know that every time I listen to the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints speak I am filled with the spirit and a desire to do better. I know that they are called to lead and guide the church. I am grateful for them and all they do.
I was at one of these broadcasts a few years ago and thinking about the women who lead our church. At the time, each one had like 6 kids and lived in Utah. I was anxious to hear what they had to say, but more than that. I wondered what they could say that would help me because their life experiences seemed very different from mine and very similar to each other. In fact, I thought to myself that their lives appeared easy and they hadn't suffered much at all. All these judgments from me came from reading a very short bio about them.
At that meeting, I remember being relieved to hear that their life had not been easy and these women had a lot to offer me and the world. Flash forward a couple years to just this last month. Here I was sitting in a different chapel listening to some amazing women leaders speak and the first counselor of the Relief Society, Sister Carole M. Stephens, answered my unspoken prayer from two years ago. Sister Stephens told me how these women and really all the leaders of the church including the prophet can lead and guide us even if they have not had the same experiences we have had.
Here is the link to her talk:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2015/04?lang=eng&vid=4140514097001&cid=4
Sister Stephens talked about how there are many experiences she has not had and while she went through the list, I wondered why she was naming all the things she had not gone through. Then she said what I had needed to hear all along. Even though she may not have gone through those experiences, she knows people who have gone through them. More than that, Sister Stephens and the other leaders have worked hard their whole life to be close to their Heavenly Father. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have a complete understanding of all the experiences and trials that life can bring. As Sister Stephens works at being close to her Heavenly Father she draws upon His understanding and can truly know how to lead and guide us.
Wait a minute....That means she and the other leaders are qualified to lead us not only because of what they have endured, but also their personal relationship to God. I know that each and every one of our leaders are called of God and they do not lobby or petition for their calling. Most are hesitant to accept it, but do because they want to do the Lord's will.
To go along with this amazing answer to my sassy thoughts from years ago, my friend Jillian Garrett recently said something to me that I know will stick with me forever. We were talking about the temple (A special place where we go to do the work of the Lord, very similar to the temple work mentioned in the bible. Without the sacrificing of animals, as that ended with the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ.). Jillian said something along the lines of, "Don't you love how when you go to the temple you see people as they can be. Almost as if you can see them the way God views them." Jill is so right. It is much harder to focus on the flaws of a person that is actively working for the good of others and trying to become closer to the Lord at the same time. The temple provides the perfect place to do that.
If only I could use that vision of seeing people the way God sees them and viewing their eternal potential, then I would not make those rash judgements. Maybe I wouldn't have wondered what my leaders could teach me when they had no personal knowledge of my struggles. I would have known what is in their heart and how receptive they are to the spirit. I know I will fall short again, but hopefully I will try a little harder to see people for the potential of what they can become and will hold back rash judgements.
I know that every time I listen to the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints speak I am filled with the spirit and a desire to do better. I know that they are called to lead and guide the church. I am grateful for them and all they do.
Monday, April 6, 2015
The answer I didn't want
When we got our tax return back this year I was eagerly thinking about what we would do with the money. We have not had a family vacation in years. As we talked about it, I got it in my head that we needed to go to Disneyworld. I wanted to take my little Reese (5) for her birthday and because she had never been. I researched it and went to a local travel agency to reserve a trip for the end of March (spring break). However, like all major financial decisions I prayed about it with my husband. He did not seem as enthusiatic about the idea at all.
As I prayed about the decision I felt a lot of confusion and frustration over the issue. In fact, I wondered if my prayers were even heard and if I was getting an answer. Yet, overwhelming I felt this need to let my husband decide what we should do. Now I am a military spouse that is very used to my husband being very busy or gone. I make a lot of decisions on my own. Part of me wondered if that was my answer and the other part wondered if I could let him make the decision.
When I finally told my husband that I really felt like he needed to make the decision, his response was an immediate we are not going. I was devastated and so disappointed. In my head I thought of all the reasons we had to go now....I want to get pregnant this year and I don't want to go to Disneyworld pregnant. While I wait to finally become pregnant, it would be awesome to have something to look forward to.We might be moving crosscountry in the next year and that will make it very difficult to get to Disneyworld in the future. My Reese has never been and she loves princesses and all things Disney.
As the weeks have gone by, I have come to realize how right my husband was and that I did get an answer to my prayer. It just was the answer that I didn't want and he was amazing enough to say the hard truth.
We have a house for sale in Georgia and it was supposed to close at the end of February. It didn't and in fact the first contract fell through. We have another contract, but it still hasn't sold. The amount of money we have had to spend on a rent and a mortgage, repairs on the house, and the stress of not having it sold are all reason enough to not go. The last few months would have been impossible and so much more stressful had we gone when I wanted to go.
Thank you Heavenly Father and thank you John for giving me the answer I didn't want, but the one that was right. Disneyworld can wait and hopefully we will get a chance to go before we move.
As I prayed about the decision I felt a lot of confusion and frustration over the issue. In fact, I wondered if my prayers were even heard and if I was getting an answer. Yet, overwhelming I felt this need to let my husband decide what we should do. Now I am a military spouse that is very used to my husband being very busy or gone. I make a lot of decisions on my own. Part of me wondered if that was my answer and the other part wondered if I could let him make the decision.
When I finally told my husband that I really felt like he needed to make the decision, his response was an immediate we are not going. I was devastated and so disappointed. In my head I thought of all the reasons we had to go now....I want to get pregnant this year and I don't want to go to Disneyworld pregnant. While I wait to finally become pregnant, it would be awesome to have something to look forward to.We might be moving crosscountry in the next year and that will make it very difficult to get to Disneyworld in the future. My Reese has never been and she loves princesses and all things Disney.
As the weeks have gone by, I have come to realize how right my husband was and that I did get an answer to my prayer. It just was the answer that I didn't want and he was amazing enough to say the hard truth.
We have a house for sale in Georgia and it was supposed to close at the end of February. It didn't and in fact the first contract fell through. We have another contract, but it still hasn't sold. The amount of money we have had to spend on a rent and a mortgage, repairs on the house, and the stress of not having it sold are all reason enough to not go. The last few months would have been impossible and so much more stressful had we gone when I wanted to go.
Thank you Heavenly Father and thank you John for giving me the answer I didn't want, but the one that was right. Disneyworld can wait and hopefully we will get a chance to go before we move.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
The heart wants what it wants
Do you ever have one of those moments where you are just so embarrassed that you are doing what you are doing, but you do it anyways? I did. Just a few weeks ago, I stood in front of a woman that I barely knew embarrassing myself to no end. Yet I didn't stop. Amazingly enough this wonderful and talented person shares a first name with me. The other Jennifer has a beautiful singing voice and I am in awe of it really. Over a year ago I heard her singing "Do you want build a snowman" to her daughter when she picked her up from watch care. I thought of how lucky her daughter was and then picked my daughter up with a shrug knowing she would never get any awe inspiring song from her mother.
So how did I embarrass myself. Well I talked about a new Selena Gomez song of course. I told the other Jennifer that she needed to redo the video because I wanted a different set of visuals for the song. You may all roll your eyes now because I rolled my eyes when I first started liking the song, "The heart wants what it wants". Why would a thirty something happily married woman like this song you may wonder? I really do love this song. Well I had to do some deep soul searching to figure out why. Watching the video on YouTube did nothing to help me in my quest to discover my true feelings for the song. It seems to tell Selena Gomez's woes with man trouble. The beginning is particularly heart wrenching. However, I do not share her current predicament.
On my way to meet up with a bunch of military spouses, I heard the song again and it was as if a light bulb in my head clicked and I finally understood why I could relate and like the song. The line in the chorus: "The bed's getting cold and you're not here" is really the crux of my liking the song. That is one sentence all military spouses can relate to. Our spouse can be gone for a day, week, month, or even year. Often our bed is cold.
So there I stood almost begging this beautiful woman to be my friend and do a new video for the this song where it focuses on military spouses. I can picture the intro in my head: the wife is standing there in her best clothes hugging her husband who is dressed in his deployment camo uniform. They are holding on tight and then gradually let go of each other inch by inch until only their fingers are touching. Then he goes off to join the ranks of soldiers and the tears slide down her face. "You got me sippin' on something I can't compare to nothing I've ever known, I'm hoping that after this fever I'll survive...." The words of the song fit perfectly to the moment a woman has to say good-bye to her husband for a deployment. Then during the chorus you see her in bed by herself looking at a picture of her husband followed by a clip of him out in harms way fighting a battle. "The bed's getting cold and you're not here the future that we hold is so unclear But I'm not alive until you call and I'll bet the odds against it all"
Hopefully now you are getting the picture. I love how Selena Gomez's song fits perfectly to a military spouse dealing with deployment...."The heart wants what it wants." Now I just need to find someone to do the video who maybe might not think I am crazy. I know I can not pull it off with my tone deaf singing voice.
So how did I embarrass myself. Well I talked about a new Selena Gomez song of course. I told the other Jennifer that she needed to redo the video because I wanted a different set of visuals for the song. You may all roll your eyes now because I rolled my eyes when I first started liking the song, "The heart wants what it wants". Why would a thirty something happily married woman like this song you may wonder? I really do love this song. Well I had to do some deep soul searching to figure out why. Watching the video on YouTube did nothing to help me in my quest to discover my true feelings for the song. It seems to tell Selena Gomez's woes with man trouble. The beginning is particularly heart wrenching. However, I do not share her current predicament.
On my way to meet up with a bunch of military spouses, I heard the song again and it was as if a light bulb in my head clicked and I finally understood why I could relate and like the song. The line in the chorus: "The bed's getting cold and you're not here" is really the crux of my liking the song. That is one sentence all military spouses can relate to. Our spouse can be gone for a day, week, month, or even year. Often our bed is cold.
So there I stood almost begging this beautiful woman to be my friend and do a new video for the this song where it focuses on military spouses. I can picture the intro in my head: the wife is standing there in her best clothes hugging her husband who is dressed in his deployment camo uniform. They are holding on tight and then gradually let go of each other inch by inch until only their fingers are touching. Then he goes off to join the ranks of soldiers and the tears slide down her face. "You got me sippin' on something I can't compare to nothing I've ever known, I'm hoping that after this fever I'll survive...." The words of the song fit perfectly to the moment a woman has to say good-bye to her husband for a deployment. Then during the chorus you see her in bed by herself looking at a picture of her husband followed by a clip of him out in harms way fighting a battle. "The bed's getting cold and you're not here the future that we hold is so unclear But I'm not alive until you call and I'll bet the odds against it all"
Hopefully now you are getting the picture. I love how Selena Gomez's song fits perfectly to a military spouse dealing with deployment...."The heart wants what it wants." Now I just need to find someone to do the video who maybe might not think I am crazy. I know I can not pull it off with my tone deaf singing voice.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
I will do what you want me to do oh Lord
At the beginning of the year, I was contemplating the goals I made the previous year. It was another one of those years that I failed to achieve the goals I had written at the beginning of the year. As I thought about why I had failed this year, I realized that I hadn't consulted the Lord before making them. I had no idea what my year would be like and as the year progressed I never once thought or looked at them again after February. Well maybe a fleeting thought about the one where I would do an unassisted pull up. That's it though.
So this year, I thought I would try a different tactic. The first Sunday in January I fasted and asked the Lord what He wanted me to do this year. That night our family sat down and made some goals for the year. Then we posted them on the fridge. I am not going to lie, it is just barely March and I am already struggling with some of them. It wasn't the goals that I wrote down that were an answer to that prayer, of that I am certain. After we put the kids to bed that night, I was reading stuff on the Internet and wondering how people contributed to some of these sites. I did some digging and found myself signing into a site dedicated to people who want to write.
The only problem was that you had to join different focus groups in the site to write or suggest an article to one of the groups. For the next few days I could not get the thought out of my head that I needed to write an article on one of my former ward's seminary group. They had started an Armor of God challenge that was truly inspiring. By the end of January, the article was written and published. I can honestly say that the Lord wanted me to do that and led me every step of the way. Here it is:
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=210&sid=33071082
Since then I have written two different book reviews, one was published so far:
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865623063/Book-review-The-Healer-merges-Welsh-legends-spiritual-gifts-in-speculative-novel.html?pg=all#8lF1Om5U28iHlbZJ.01
Yet I still feel the pull to continue writing and as I feel inspired to write about different subjects, I will. I am not sure what path the Lord is leading me on, but I will follow. I will do what He wants me to do because I know He has a master plan that I don't understand. I just have one step, that is all.
Now I am not going to pretend that writing is easy for me, honestly I have pulled my hair out and felt a knot in my chest from the anxiety of it. Also, life is not easy and I don't have a ton of time for this. In fact my house is often messy and my stress level has sky rocketed the last few months. The writing has just added to many other stresses and commitments that I already have. Which leads me to believe that whenever you truly try to turn your life over to the Lord, Satan works so very hard on you. Satan has been working hard. No fear, I am fighting back and as long as I keep the Lord on my side we will win.
So no matter what battles you are facing keep the Lord on your side and follow His plan for your life. Trust me, He has much better intel on the big picture. You just have a little small pixel of information.
So this year, I thought I would try a different tactic. The first Sunday in January I fasted and asked the Lord what He wanted me to do this year. That night our family sat down and made some goals for the year. Then we posted them on the fridge. I am not going to lie, it is just barely March and I am already struggling with some of them. It wasn't the goals that I wrote down that were an answer to that prayer, of that I am certain. After we put the kids to bed that night, I was reading stuff on the Internet and wondering how people contributed to some of these sites. I did some digging and found myself signing into a site dedicated to people who want to write.
The only problem was that you had to join different focus groups in the site to write or suggest an article to one of the groups. For the next few days I could not get the thought out of my head that I needed to write an article on one of my former ward's seminary group. They had started an Armor of God challenge that was truly inspiring. By the end of January, the article was written and published. I can honestly say that the Lord wanted me to do that and led me every step of the way. Here it is:
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=210&sid=33071082
Since then I have written two different book reviews, one was published so far:
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865623063/Book-review-The-Healer-merges-Welsh-legends-spiritual-gifts-in-speculative-novel.html?pg=all#8lF1Om5U28iHlbZJ.01
Yet I still feel the pull to continue writing and as I feel inspired to write about different subjects, I will. I am not sure what path the Lord is leading me on, but I will follow. I will do what He wants me to do because I know He has a master plan that I don't understand. I just have one step, that is all.
Now I am not going to pretend that writing is easy for me, honestly I have pulled my hair out and felt a knot in my chest from the anxiety of it. Also, life is not easy and I don't have a ton of time for this. In fact my house is often messy and my stress level has sky rocketed the last few months. The writing has just added to many other stresses and commitments that I already have. Which leads me to believe that whenever you truly try to turn your life over to the Lord, Satan works so very hard on you. Satan has been working hard. No fear, I am fighting back and as long as I keep the Lord on my side we will win.
So no matter what battles you are facing keep the Lord on your side and follow His plan for your life. Trust me, He has much better intel on the big picture. You just have a little small pixel of information.
Choose The Right activity BEAN BOOZLED Style
Warning this is not an activity idea for those with a weak stomach and instant gag reflux. That being said, it is fun and such a great way to teach an awesome concept.
Harry Potter jelly beans have been around for a while and though I have been tempted to try them, their expense and the thought of eating a nasty jelly bean has always deterred me. Then a few months ago when my husband showed the family a you-tube video with a couple sisters taking the Bean boozled challenge I was once again not interested. However, my sweet 10 year old daughter was and begged me to do it. Her friends did it on a day she couldn't participate and it filled her with more angst and longing. The begging continued. I still had no interest whatsoever.
Yet when inspiration struck me while trying to plan activity day activities for the year I added a Bean Boozled choose the right activity to the list of options for the girls. Somehow they chose it So we had the activity and this is how it went (add the dramatic pause and dun dun dun):
It started out nice and calm, we sang Choose the right (found here https://www.lds.org/music/library/hymns/choose-the-right?lang=eng) Then I had everyone tell me what they thought agency meant and what it means to be responsible for our choices. Since the girls are all between 8 -11 years old, many did not know what agency meant or what being responsible for our choices would entail either. We discussed how agency is the ability to choose for ourselves what we want to do. However, with each choice there are consequences good and bad. When we make a choice sometimes we know the consequence and sometimes we don't. Either way we need to accept the consequence of our behavior and learn from it.
After our discussion we took the Beanboozled challenge. I had previously divided the different colored jelly beans into bags. Bean boozled jelly beans come in 10 different colors and 20 different flavors. Each color has a good and a bad jelly bean. You don't know whether you are going to get a good one or a bad one. Examples of the flavors and their mates include licorice/skunk spray, baby wipes/coconut, barf/peach, toothpaste/berry blue, etc. Each of the girls had the choice whether or not they wanted to participate and each of them had a cup to spit the gross one out into. We took turns spinning the wheel that would tell us the next color we would try and then taking a jelly bean. All together we tried our jelly beans and either ate or spit out the one we received. Unfortunately for me and Sister Stephens (the other leader) we got only one good one each.
Let me tell you the bad ones were just absolutely horrid. They really did taste like real skunk spray or real barf. It was so gross and by the end I was gingerly biting into those things to avoid as much of them in my teeth as possible. The absolute worst part is that the cups got smellier and smellier and the room really started to reek. Girls were going to water fountains and one poor young 7 year old boy came to try it out with us and threw up. So there is a reason I warn you. Amazingly enough the girls absolutely loved it. Also, you might not think baby wipes sounds bad, but it is....it really is. That one surprised me the most.
I would recommend a prompt removal to an outside trash all the cups because the smell was horrendous. It took everything I had not to loose my dinner while cleaning up the messy remains.
To wrap it up I pulled out a little box of all the good jelly bean flavors and the diagram that tells you exactly what you are getting. Then we discussed how making good choices that include reading your scriptures, praying, fasting, and going to church can be like a guide for us. That these choices help us stay close to the Lord and can be like the diagram that gives you a much better idea of what you are getting. I bore my testimony that making good choices really does help you develop greater faith and trust in the Lord. It doesn't always end up perfect, but He brings peace to all things.
So if you are crazy enough to give this a try, go right ahead. Hopefully, it left an impression with these wonderful girls.
Here is what a bad jelly bean reaction looks like. It was pretty funny to watch.
Harry Potter jelly beans have been around for a while and though I have been tempted to try them, their expense and the thought of eating a nasty jelly bean has always deterred me. Then a few months ago when my husband showed the family a you-tube video with a couple sisters taking the Bean boozled challenge I was once again not interested. However, my sweet 10 year old daughter was and begged me to do it. Her friends did it on a day she couldn't participate and it filled her with more angst and longing. The begging continued. I still had no interest whatsoever.
Yet when inspiration struck me while trying to plan activity day activities for the year I added a Bean Boozled choose the right activity to the list of options for the girls. Somehow they chose it So we had the activity and this is how it went (add the dramatic pause and dun dun dun):
It started out nice and calm, we sang Choose the right (found here https://www.lds.org/music/library/hymns/choose-the-right?lang=eng) Then I had everyone tell me what they thought agency meant and what it means to be responsible for our choices. Since the girls are all between 8 -11 years old, many did not know what agency meant or what being responsible for our choices would entail either. We discussed how agency is the ability to choose for ourselves what we want to do. However, with each choice there are consequences good and bad. When we make a choice sometimes we know the consequence and sometimes we don't. Either way we need to accept the consequence of our behavior and learn from it.
After our discussion we took the Beanboozled challenge. I had previously divided the different colored jelly beans into bags. Bean boozled jelly beans come in 10 different colors and 20 different flavors. Each color has a good and a bad jelly bean. You don't know whether you are going to get a good one or a bad one. Examples of the flavors and their mates include licorice/skunk spray, baby wipes/coconut, barf/peach, toothpaste/berry blue, etc. Each of the girls had the choice whether or not they wanted to participate and each of them had a cup to spit the gross one out into. We took turns spinning the wheel that would tell us the next color we would try and then taking a jelly bean. All together we tried our jelly beans and either ate or spit out the one we received. Unfortunately for me and Sister Stephens (the other leader) we got only one good one each.
Let me tell you the bad ones were just absolutely horrid. They really did taste like real skunk spray or real barf. It was so gross and by the end I was gingerly biting into those things to avoid as much of them in my teeth as possible. The absolute worst part is that the cups got smellier and smellier and the room really started to reek. Girls were going to water fountains and one poor young 7 year old boy came to try it out with us and threw up. So there is a reason I warn you. Amazingly enough the girls absolutely loved it. Also, you might not think baby wipes sounds bad, but it is....it really is. That one surprised me the most.
I would recommend a prompt removal to an outside trash all the cups because the smell was horrendous. It took everything I had not to loose my dinner while cleaning up the messy remains.
To wrap it up I pulled out a little box of all the good jelly bean flavors and the diagram that tells you exactly what you are getting. Then we discussed how making good choices that include reading your scriptures, praying, fasting, and going to church can be like a guide for us. That these choices help us stay close to the Lord and can be like the diagram that gives you a much better idea of what you are getting. I bore my testimony that making good choices really does help you develop greater faith and trust in the Lord. It doesn't always end up perfect, but He brings peace to all things.
So if you are crazy enough to give this a try, go right ahead. Hopefully, it left an impression with these wonderful girls.
Here is what a bad jelly bean reaction looks like. It was pretty funny to watch.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Christmas Letter
Now that the Christmas season is over and I am sure that the letters I sent have arrived, I thought I would share my letter and picture with those who did not receive it. This years letter was challenging to write because I felt strongly that I needed to be vulnerable and open up more. Sending out a letter this personal is really nerve wracking. Crazily, I even dared to give it to both my daughters' teachers at school. I am glad I did though because Mrs. Elliott, Reese's teacher, had an excellent idea. Every Christmas season her family takes Christmas letters and cards they receive and puts them into a basket. At dinner they draw one out and pray for that family. This is such a good idea to pray for those families to have a good next and to be able to be stregthened in their current struggles. I am going to make that a new Christmas tradition for our house.
Side note: Family pictures really are torturous. Getting everyone to smile at the same time, cooperate, want to be there, not blink, not touch their face, look happy, etc. That is a lot of work and seems almost impossible. The sad thing is that I only have two kids; I don't know how my mother did it with seven.
Side note: Family pictures really are torturous. Getting everyone to smile at the same time, cooperate, want to be there, not blink, not touch their face, look happy, etc. That is a lot of work and seems almost impossible. The sad thing is that I only have two kids; I don't know how my mother did it with seven.
All year we have been praying for another baby to join our family. Sitting
down to write this letter has been a challenge because I kept hoping that I
could announce that our dream had been realized. Sadly it has not. As I bemoaned this to John,
he mentioned that we have so much to be grateful for (he can be pretty smart
sometimes). In light of that idea, here is our top ten list for 2014 in no
particular order.
1. Reese
scoring a goal at her last soccer game.
2. Getting
Celia a guinea pig we all love (Cutie).
3. Going to Kyla Duggan and Daniel Embry’s
Baptisms.
4. Watching
friends be reunited after long deployments.
5. Being able to spend Thanksgiving with family.
6. Jenny’s workout group – Fort Knox Beauty
Hunters
7. John being able to have a job he loves – Army
Flight Paramedic
8. The girls being able to see Georgia family and
friends in June
9. John
being able to visit family in Utah
10. Jenny starting a new blog - http://imperfectlymormon.blogspot.com/
We hope that you have had a wonderful year. If not, we hope that you can at least come up
with your own top ten list for the year.
There is always something to be grateful for. The Lord gives us so much and we need only
focus on what we have to remember that. At this time of year we are especially
grateful for the gift of his son, Jesus Christ!
Jesus has truly given all. Our
prayer is that we will all look upward this year and that no matter what comes
we may find the peace that only God can provide.
Merry Christmas
Monday, January 5, 2015
Reset Days
In the military, there is no set work schedule. No 9 to 5 with weekends off. My husband especially works weird hours since he works in aviation (flight paramedic). So sometimes he will work long days, nights, weekends, etc. It is not unusual for him to work for a few weeks straight. During training it is even more than a few weeks straight. However, every once in a while he will get a reset day. That is what his day off to recover is called.
The last few months of holidays and sports and life have been busy in our house. Really busy. So when it was just days before Christmas and my youngest daughter (Reese) started getting sick, I was actually not too sad. Yes, I get some time off to just stay home for a few days were my thoughts. Well, that was great for a few days, but then my older daughter (Celia) and I both got sick.
The past ten years of my Celia's life, she has slept until her usual waking time of seven thirty Christmas morning. This year broke the streak. Christmas hit our household earlier than it ever had and not with the sounds of joyful kids seeing presents. In my NyQuil induced stupor I vaguely remember Celia coming into our room talking about throwing up at two am. My husband told her to take a shower and got the mess cleaned up while I was still in my stupor. Two hours later when Reese got up and Celia had still not fallen back asleep, we decided to just get this Christmas present thing over with. Yay we opened our presents and everyone was happy. Coughing and tired, but happy. Since we got up so early I decided to make homemade cinnamon rolls from scratch. Once a year I can do that and we needed more sugar anyways.
Reese was so entertained by her toys (especially a cash register from her grandparents) that the rest of us were able to nap and we were very glad about that. However, after we had all woken up and Reese was grouchy and still bouncing off the walls we had to punish Reese into napping. Boy was it worth it though. She was just as tired as the rest of us, but she does not like to nap.
Later that night I took Celia into the ER and found out she had an ear infection. So they started her on some medicine and I went home with my diagnosis of a virus or cold and downed more NyQuil. We started to see some improvement in our health days later, but not much. In fact our Christmas break included three trips to the ER and another trip to two different doctors next door to each other. Lots of medicine and lots of sickness. With Celia also getting Strep throat and me a sinus infection. By the end we felt like ER regulars and knew to pack snacks and plenty of entertainment....OK so maybe all it took was Celia's kindle. The girls watched Hotel Transylvania about ten times this Christmas break because it was one of the few downloaded on to the Kindle. They love the fart scene what can I say.
The hardest part was knowing that my girls were not having a fun vacation. They were not able to play with friends and we hardly left the house. I had fun playing games with them at home, but it was a lot of work to keep things clean when half us did not feel like doing anything. Thankfully my husband actually had some of those days off and he makes a much better housewife than I do. Our house was probably cleaner than usual, but I think he needed a break from his break. Last week as I was complaining to the Lord a little in prayer about how long we had been sick, I got the impression that these were our reset days. I had asked for some time to read and rest and I got it. "You asked for it, you got it." We had days to focus on rest, relax, and recover from a busy life. These days were a blessing and a reminder of how good it is to be busy and healthy. I think I am ready for our reset days to be over. We had a nice break from friends, sports, responsibilities, working out, etc. This week school starts, sports start, and work outs begin again. Now we know, we wouldn't have it any other way. We hope that you had an enjoyable holidays, but if yours ended up being your own reset days we hope that you are now able to be grateful for even more. The Lord teaches us lessons in all things, we just need to listen.
The last few months of holidays and sports and life have been busy in our house. Really busy. So when it was just days before Christmas and my youngest daughter (Reese) started getting sick, I was actually not too sad. Yes, I get some time off to just stay home for a few days were my thoughts. Well, that was great for a few days, but then my older daughter (Celia) and I both got sick.
The past ten years of my Celia's life, she has slept until her usual waking time of seven thirty Christmas morning. This year broke the streak. Christmas hit our household earlier than it ever had and not with the sounds of joyful kids seeing presents. In my NyQuil induced stupor I vaguely remember Celia coming into our room talking about throwing up at two am. My husband told her to take a shower and got the mess cleaned up while I was still in my stupor. Two hours later when Reese got up and Celia had still not fallen back asleep, we decided to just get this Christmas present thing over with. Yay we opened our presents and everyone was happy. Coughing and tired, but happy. Since we got up so early I decided to make homemade cinnamon rolls from scratch. Once a year I can do that and we needed more sugar anyways.
Reese was so entertained by her toys (especially a cash register from her grandparents) that the rest of us were able to nap and we were very glad about that. However, after we had all woken up and Reese was grouchy and still bouncing off the walls we had to punish Reese into napping. Boy was it worth it though. She was just as tired as the rest of us, but she does not like to nap.
Later that night I took Celia into the ER and found out she had an ear infection. So they started her on some medicine and I went home with my diagnosis of a virus or cold and downed more NyQuil. We started to see some improvement in our health days later, but not much. In fact our Christmas break included three trips to the ER and another trip to two different doctors next door to each other. Lots of medicine and lots of sickness. With Celia also getting Strep throat and me a sinus infection. By the end we felt like ER regulars and knew to pack snacks and plenty of entertainment....OK so maybe all it took was Celia's kindle. The girls watched Hotel Transylvania about ten times this Christmas break because it was one of the few downloaded on to the Kindle. They love the fart scene what can I say.
The hardest part was knowing that my girls were not having a fun vacation. They were not able to play with friends and we hardly left the house. I had fun playing games with them at home, but it was a lot of work to keep things clean when half us did not feel like doing anything. Thankfully my husband actually had some of those days off and he makes a much better housewife than I do. Our house was probably cleaner than usual, but I think he needed a break from his break. Last week as I was complaining to the Lord a little in prayer about how long we had been sick, I got the impression that these were our reset days. I had asked for some time to read and rest and I got it. "You asked for it, you got it." We had days to focus on rest, relax, and recover from a busy life. These days were a blessing and a reminder of how good it is to be busy and healthy. I think I am ready for our reset days to be over. We had a nice break from friends, sports, responsibilities, working out, etc. This week school starts, sports start, and work outs begin again. Now we know, we wouldn't have it any other way. We hope that you had an enjoyable holidays, but if yours ended up being your own reset days we hope that you are now able to be grateful for even more. The Lord teaches us lessons in all things, we just need to listen.
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