Ursula's Backstory

As we sat watching Disney's "The Little Mermaid," we wondered why Ursula hated King Triton so much? What was Ursula's story? I asked the girls their opinions and then I came up with my own back story. Here it is in a condensed format:

Ursula was born to a single mother, Xylia. She looked so much like her mother, that at first she didn't think about her parentage much. Xylia was a witch and Ursula quickly became her mother's apprentice. Xylia was a strict and unloving mother that Ursula tried to please when she was a child and wished to be rid of in her teenage years. When Ursula finally got old enough to ask her mother about who her dad was, Xylia simply told her that it was not time for her to know yet. Ursula continued to try to ask, but eventually gave up when her mother became so angry that she threatened to feed her to the sharks.

Ursula would dream that her father would one day return and give her all the love she desperately wanted and needed. When Ursula became a teenager, Xylia sent her off to a private school. Ursula was excited, but quickly realized that her Octopus tail did not endear her to the mermaids that she went to school with. She always felt different and many of the mermaids stayed away from her because they knew who her mother was.

One week Prince Triton and Ursula ended up in detention together. Prince Triton was there for shocking another student with his mini training sceptor. Ursula had magically shut a mermaid's mouth closed and was serving out her punishment. Prince Triton was an adventurous young boy who was intrigued by this new and different Ursula. He took the opportunity to talk with Ursula and they quickly became friends. As their friendship progressed Prince Triton brought Ursula home to meet the parents.

Prince Triton's dad, Neandro, was furious when he met this new friend of his son's. He told Ursula to go home immediately and forbade that they see each other ever again. Ursula left very upset and that was when she met her two eel friends. Neandro then took Triton aside and explained himself. He knew that forbidding them to associate was a sure fire way to get them together. You see Neandro was Ursula's father. Years ago Ursula's mother, Xylia, had magically tricked Neandro into having a momentary fling with her. Xylia had hoped to have his first son and heir and rise to power in the underwater kingdom through her son. When Ursula came out, she changed her plan. Ursula would be used to drive a wedge in the Royal family and help destroy them for good.

Prince Triton didn't know how to take the news and did not want Ursula to ruin his family. Out of fear he avoided her from that moment on. Ursula became friendless and the teasing increased without Triton stopping it. Triton even pulled jokes on Ursula occasionally. When Ursula finally confronted Triton about what was going on and found out that they shared a father, she was so upset that she went home to her mother. Xylia used this opportunity to spin the story her way. Xylia told Ursula that she had loved Neandro and he loved her, but he was too afraid to break up his marriage. When Xylia became pregnant Neandro was furious and refused to claim Ursula as his own child. Neandro had ruined their life and would never accept them.

Ursula believed the claims and for years she worked with her mother Xylia to overthrow and kill the royal family so that they would pay for what they had done to her.

In the end Ursula had a choice, but so did Prince Triton. Prince Triton let fear of what could happen and shame of where she came from, prevent him from treating her like a step sister. Ursula decided to believe her mother and gave into all the hurt feelings of being different. She focused on all the wrongs she had experienced and punished everyone she could for her own experiences. She never could forgive Triton for rejecting their friendship and wanted to destroy him for the hurt he caused her.

Haven't you ever noticed that there are moments when Ariel herself resembles Ursula? It's her Half-Aunt and the facial expressions must come from dear old Grandpa Neandro.

Give a little Love

"I hate you."

"You are so selfish"

"Why don't you ever pick up after yourself"

"That is mine"

Growing up there were times my siblings and I would say things like that to each other and more. I was number 6 of 7 kids in the family and I love them all. Yet, sometimes we all got on each other's nerves. At those times when the bickering would reach an all time high, we would have a special family evening lesson. Each of us would sit with a piece of paper in front of us, wondering what our parents had in store for us (of course we never wondered again after the first time and there were numerous times we had to do this lesson). The instructions were simple. Put your name at the top of your paper and pass it to the person on your right. That person would then write down a compliment for the person whose paper it is. Your paper is passed all around until you finally get that paper back filled with compliments.
 
At times, when I was very upset with a family member, it was hard to come up with a compliment and it would take much longer to write one down. Other times, I knew that a family member was struggling and I sought for the best compliment to help them in their time of need. These compliment lists are now treasured to me because they remind me that no matter how bleak something can seam it can always be turned around. Our fighting didn't always stop completely with this lesson, but it really did lesson quite a bit after we had it. You see when you are looking for the positive attributes of those around you, it is much harder to focus on the negative.

Fast forward my life to only a few years ago. I was not feeling as loving to my husband and kids as I wanted. They were annoying me for various reasons and I really wanted to change my perspective. So with some inspiration from a picture on Pintrest I came up with an idea very similar to those compliment lists of old. I made a trail of hearts that led to one big heart each day for the first 14 days of February. Each day was someone else's special day and they could follow the little hearts from their room to where the big heart was located, somewhere else in the house. On the big heart I wrote them a simple compliment and some days I left a treat or special gift. It has been three years now, since I started this tradition, and I can honestly say that it helps me so much. Everyday I am reminded of the things I love about my husband and daughters. Everyday I am looking at the positive.

My youngest, Reese, is very excited when it is her turn and looks forward to what each day will bring. This year she asked me, "Mom where are your hearts?"

"Sweetheart, I don't make myself hearts." was my reply.





So John and the girls decided to make me my very own heart and leave me a gift. (Reese secretly hoping that I will share my gift.) Last night I could hear them laughing as they cut and decorated hearts of all sizes. It was precious to hear and makes me feel like my heart could burst. Afterwards, Reese kept running up to me giving me extra hugs and kisses.




This morning Reese came to me and begged me to get out of bed and go get the gift and see the heart. Then she made sure to show me where to go. She was so excited and it was so cute. I think she was almost as excited for me to get my heart as she was to get her own heart.





Through this tradition I am reminded and hopefully I am teaching my family that: When we look for the positive in those around us, it fills our heart with love and makes our homes a happier place to be.

My Life and Writing

Those who know me well, know that I have been working on writing a book for over three years now. Sometimes I work a little harder than others. The last few months I have felt this internal push to finish this novel (called Dear Eva). Well the first few weeks of January, I was doing really good and working hard on the very challenging editing process of the novel. Then, I started to work as a substitute aide for the local school system.  (I am sure there will be more posts about this in the future) Well that part time job quickly became a permanent substitute aide at the local middle school.

Which means that I do not have as much free time as I used to. Still there is this push inside me to finish this book. Today I was able to take some time to work on the book and I came across something I wrote a while ago.  I am not even sure if it will make it into the book, but I feel like it would be a good part to share here. As a side note, the book is a journal that a mother starts to write when she starts wanting to have kids. She continues writing through her struggles with fertility. This particular entry would be one after she found out she was not pregnant again (so many times this happens when you struggle with fertility...potentially every month).

Sometimes when your heart breaks it is a sudden and horrific experience and sometimes it is a trickle of pain that escapes a little bit at a time while your heart feels squeezed. Mine is trickling and I want to start the emotional waterfall to just get it over with, but can't. I have to hold it together because that is what adults are supposed to do and because I can't let myself go there emotionally. Why did I even start the process? Why did I start to imagine how and when I would tell my husband that I am pregnant. Such a slippery slope that I continue to slide down only to come to an abrupt and bloody stop.

Baby you are worth the wait and agony, but once again I find myself wanting to know what the future holds instead of focusing on my next step in life. I should realize by now that my life is measured in days and weeks and anything more than that is uncertain. I am starting to find myself afraid to plan too far in the future, for you see you never know what will happen. Nope I never know what will happen.

My prayer is that our Lord will know that now and always I am His humble servant. I will go where He wants me and be who He wants me to be. He leads and I will follow.  I know He has a plan for me and I will take it one step at a time. Hoping that someday all of this will make sense.

I wrote this during a particularly difficult day for me emotionally in my infertility journey. It is a bit dramatic, but at times we are all a bit dramatic. The struggle to get pregnant is real. Even though there are many days I wish my struggle would end, I am also grateful for the knowledge and understanding I have gained. I know my Heavenly Father has a plan for me (as He does for all of His Children, including you). Someday it will all make sense.