Fear

A little before Christmas my family adopted a puppy. She is the most adorable Chihuahua Pekingese mix dog ever. Currently she weighs 7 lbs and that is probably as big as she will ever get. We have been wanting a dog ever since our Weimaraner dog, Maze, died a few years ago. However, we waited until after John's deployment and we were settled in our own home to get one. In the meantime John and Celia have looked at dog adoption websites planning and hoping for the family puppy for the last two years.

When we went to the shelter to meet Rae, she kept trying to hide and was very fearful. So we figured it would take a while for her to warm up to us. I started to do a lot of research on fearful dogs and how to help them. What I learned is that fear can be the hardest thing for a dog to unlearn and that the people in the house needed to have a calm and confident presence to help her overcome this fear. We also need to expose her to lots of situations and allow her to experience some confidence boosts.

(This is Rae that first night - so fearful)




Since it was an hour plus drive to bring Rae home, she threw up in her kennel on the way back. Then she stayed in a corner hiding the rest of that night.

Rae had never had a leash put on her and she would drop down refusing to move when we put one on her. So going on a walk was not possible that first week. Instead, I started putting a leash on her and walking/pulling her in a circle in our back yard. Every time I went out with her or she had to go potty I put the leash on her.

Celia kept holding her even when she didn't seem to want to be held and that helped as well.

The first night she was so scared that she didn't make a sound in her kennel by herself in the living room. After a day getting used to us, she started to whine at night and I brought her kennel into my room where she did much better. For a few weeks she woke me up in the middle of the night and I fed or took her potty, but then even that stopped. Now, she hardly ever barks and I was surprised to find that she could because it took so long for her to bark. The only place I have seen her bark a lot is at my friend's house when she barks at anyone who passes by the house.

Slowly, Rae has been warming up to me and my daughters. Now she takes long walks with me, loves to run short distances and is a playful fun puppy during the day. She loves to hang out with me and can often be found curled up on the computer or floor next to me.




(The video below is how Rae acts during the day. She is so fun and loving.)

Unfortunately, Rae has two different personalities. She is a fun loving puppy who chews, chases, and plays fetch during the weekdays and at night or on the weekends she is a fearful puppy who runs around the house hiding. What is the difference? John. For some reason she is so very afraid of my husband that she can't think straight. She won't eat when he is around or if his shoes are next to her food bowl. For a while she would run away from camo clothes, but I was able to break her of that by wearing camo myself and keeping it around the house so she got used to it.

(Rae let out a little Hershey squirt of poop after jumping by Reese in the video. Another tell tale sign of fear. Did you know you poop when you are afraid...well at least animals and some humans as well.)

It makes me so sad that my husband who has been looking at dogs for two years and was so very excited for one ended up with a dog who is so afraid of him. He can't even pet her.

All of this has been challenging, but it has also provided me with a strong visual of what fear looks like when it goes untreated. We are still working through this and praying that we can retrain our puppies brain to love and accept John. In fact, Rae is on medicine to help her calm down and do better because it isn't just John she is afraid of. She is afraid of loud noises, her shadow, men in general, big or aggressive dogs, and the list continues to grow.

Rae has definitely caused me to think a lot about fear, though. Really fear is not an uncommon thing for animals and even people today. I myself struggle with my own fears. I am afraid of failure and so sometimes I don't do something. I am afraid of rejection and so I struggle to reach out to new people.I could go on, but you get the picture. What I have realized is that fear can hold us back from some amazing life experiences. Just like Rae's fear is preventing her from being comfortable in her own home all the time and from creating a bond to an amazing man who wants to love her.

Fear can be challenging to overcome, but it is so worth it. This week as I was reading for my religion class I read the scripture Isaiah 41:10. "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." When I lean into God through scripture study and prayer, drawing myself ever closer to Him, I am able to deal with and overcome my fears a lot easier than trying on my own. I find the strength and the ability to face my fear through Him. I am grateful for the support that is always there from God. I am also grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that wants to help strengthen me so He allows me struggle but also provides a way for me to deal with those struggles.

I hope that someday soon I will be writing a new post about how we were able to help Rae to overcome her fear of John and that they are now good friends. If not, look for another dog to be joining our family at the end of this year. My husband deserves a dog that loves him. (We fostered one for a weekend and I wanted so badly to keep the dog. Unfortunately, that dog could have eaten Rae and we don't have the extra money to spend on more pet deposits and things. It was a beautiful German Shepard. You can see a picture of her on my Instagram account. )