One Step Enough for Me

"Lead Kindly Light" by John Henry Newman is one of my favorite church songs. It is not one that is sung often, but the poetry and words of the song are so beautiful and meaningful for me.

I usually focus on the lines, "I do not ask to see the distant scene - one step enough for me." When my family was dealing with unemployment and a move and a lot of other stresses I heard that line and sought out the source. That is the first time I remember reading "Lead Kindly Light." Since then I have needed and read this song a lot. Life can be so challenging and I want to know what happens.

I have always wanted to know what happens. As a child I would get a new book and read it obsessively until I found out what happened. Everything around me would melt away or at least I wished it would so that I could find out the ending. When I got married and had kids I realized that I couldn't escape into a book and not take care of my family. So I started to read the ending so that I would be able to finish the book at a slower pace and not be constantly wondering what happens in the end of the book.

Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. There was no last chapter that I could read to see how that time period of unemployment will end. I can't look ahead and see if my children will ever overcome any of their struggles. I had no idea where the path of infertility would lead me or what would happen when my husband joined the military. I wanted to know, but I couldn't. So instead I was simply given one step at a time. Not getting pregnant...ok get fertility testing....still not getting pregnant...ok try medicine...still not getting pregnant...just relax and let go for a while...Wahoo finally pregnant. Those are just some small steps in one small part of my life. I know a lot more now and I am grateful for those steps and the knowledge gained, but I couldn't say that at the time. No, I wanted to know the end.

Last year when my husband was deployed, I thought about this song and I once again wanted to know the ending of that part of our story. Actually, I would have been happy to know the next step because I had no idea where we were even going after John got back from Afghanistan. Instead I read this song again and the spirit whispered to me, "it says one step, not the next step." I realized then that I didn't need to worry about the future. God would take care of that. I knew what I was supposed to do at the moment and that was "good enough for me."

This last week I read and heard this song, "Lead Kindly Light," again and this time I was struck by a new thought. Whoever wrote this and those of us who sing it are asking a question. We are asking for the Light (God) to lead us through life. We are seeking the light of God during our dark moments and throughout our walk on earth. At least in the first and third verses we are seeking the Lord's guidance. During the second verse we are acknowledging that we haven't always sought the Lord's guidance and asking that He not remember those years.

This poem/song was written on a boat while John Henry Newman was recovering from a dangerous illness. John's life had not been an easy one, but it is no surprise that later in his life he became a religious leader in England. We all have our struggles and trials, but I am so glad that we all have a loving Heavenly Father to help us with each step of life. *

We need only ask ("Lead Kindly Light") and as we seek with humble hearts, we can find our way through this life one step at a time.

*https://www.mormontabernaclechoir.org/articles/lead-kindly-light.html