Self Doubt

My local library has authors come on a pretty regular basis and I have enjoyed the ones I attended.  Initially I was going as a research project.  If I could figure out what a good writer is like, maybe I could emulate that in my own life. It is amazing to sit in that library room with fellow book lovers around me listening to an amazing author talk.  Yet, time and time again they express how hard it is to write and even harder to find someone who thinks you are a good author (even yourself).  Some of them have known that they wanted write from an early age and others, like James Rollins, have pursued other careers for years before deciding to write.  I am not sure why, but it surprised me that they all feel insecure about writing.  That they doubted their own ability to do it well.  These authors have sold millions of books all over the world and have made it onto the New York Times best seller list.  So I guess I should just accept that insecurity and doubt are just part of the process.  It is getting over those emotions and forcing yourself to write, edit, or whatever your current writing need is that makes a difference.   There really is a wealth of knowledge from those who have paved the way before you and I have gained some insight on what a good writer does....they write, no matter what, even if they don't feel like it.

I am ashamed to say that I have been letting the doubt get the better of me.  My life is busy and I have blamed my lack of writing on that, but in doing so I have not been very honest with myself.  I have been avoiding it because it is hard to sit there and pick apart something you did (ie edit).  To change and correct and possibly even take something out that you absolutely love because it does not help the story flow.  Talk about having a reason for feeling insecure, going in to find faults and correct them is a doubt filled process.  So that is where I am and why I must stop blogging about it and get back to it.  Yep, I am once again still avoiding what I need to do to get better at writing.  The actual book that is calling my name...."Dear Eva" hear I come.  Someday you will see some excerpts from it.