The last few months have been rough. Trying to adjust to living with my parents, having John gone for training and now officially deployed overseas, and getting to see John during the holidays only to say good-bye again have been challenging. During Thanksgiving John brought an almost life-size cardboard cutout of himself that the military made for promotional purposes. Some mornings I wake up and say hello or even I love you to it. I guess it will have to do for now.
I am so grateful for technology. I mean my husband is currently in Kuwait somewhere and he was able to video chat with me this morning. Not that I love him seeing my hair and face with all it's crazy I haven't gotten out of bed yet going on, but at least he couldn't smell my morning breath. Being able to take my phone into my girls room and have the first voice they hear in the morning be their fathers is pretty amazing if you ask me.
I have read books and talked to women who had to wait weeks and sometimes months for letters (which was their only form of communication). I am so glad that I am spoiled by technology.
Even with the wonderful technology advances it is still hard to have a deployed husband. The physical loss of him is still there. My bed is still ridiculously cold and lonely at night and somehow I kind of miss my butt being slapped all the time.
I just can't let myself think about that or dwell on that too long. Like a lot of other things. I really tried to get pregnant before he left. Part of me really hoped that if I did, then I wouldn't miss him physically. I would be cranky and pregnant and not want to be touched. I guess I felt that would be easier. I was pretty upset when I found out that I wasn't. I buried myself in "The Chemist" by Stephanie Meyer (a good, female smart not physical, Jason Bourne type novel that still has romance sprinkled in it and I would recommend for anyone who likes romance or Jason Bourne type action). I have cried so much the last week or so that it is probably no small wonder that my nose has a huge cold sore that I am trying to recover from. Which thanks to technology and video chats, I have not hidden from my husband.
Life has its hard moments and this last week or two have been very challenging.
Still, I won't stay like this because my girls need to see a strong mother and they need an example of how to get through the difficult times. So I am signing up for and doing a full marathon and I might even be doing an obstacle course run. Anyone want to do it with me? I have also signed up for weight watchers with my mother and we are going to work on losing weight. I can honestly say that doing that has made me feel so much better. Eating in moderation and eating good foods makes a big impact on how my body feels and how I feel about myself. I like weight watchers because there are no foods you can't eat, you just can't go crazy and eat a whole bag of chocolates (at least not and expect a good result). However, I can have a treat every now and then and still lose weight. Shoot I could have a mini candy bar every day and still loose weight. I just can't have 10 mini candy bars. Once again technology is awesome because I have this little app on my phone that makes it super simple to keep track of what I eat and make sure that I am eating enough, but not too much.
I even use technology to track my runs and other exercise, all while listening to music. #blessedbytechnology
Technology also allows me to talk to and get support from the many other military spouses out there. I have a group of ladies that are sisters of the heart to me. I reached out to them this last week and I knew they could understand what I was feeling. They were awesome and they live all over the place. (Sorry Tammy for your -45 degree weather in Alaska) Thanks to technology I can shoot a message out to them and anyone else I need to and feel so much better. I can be reminded that I am not alone and that deployments can be survived. I watched them survive.
So what is the point of this, I don't know. But I love technology.
