"You are so selfish"
"Why don't you ever pick up after yourself"
"That is mine"
Growing up there were times my siblings and I would say things like that to each other and more. I was number 6 of 7 kids in the family and I love them all. Yet, sometimes we all got on each other's nerves. At those times when the bickering would reach an all time high, we would have a special family evening lesson. Each of us would sit with a piece of paper in front of us, wondering what our parents had in store for us (of course we never wondered again after the first time and there were numerous times we had to do this lesson). The instructions were simple. Put your name at the top of your paper and pass it to the person on your right. That person would then write down a compliment for the person whose paper it is. Your paper is passed all around until you finally get that paper back filled with compliments.
At times, when I was very upset with a family member, it was hard to come up with a compliment and it would take much longer to write one down. Other times, I knew that a family member was struggling and I sought for the best compliment to help them in their time of need. These compliment lists are now treasured to me because they remind me that no matter how bleak something can seam it can always be turned around. Our fighting didn't always stop completely with this lesson, but it really did lesson quite a bit after we had it. You see when you are looking for the positive attributes of those around you, it is much harder to focus on the negative.
Fast forward my life to only a few years ago. I was not feeling as loving to my husband and kids as I wanted. They were annoying me for various reasons and I really wanted to change my perspective. So with some inspiration from a picture on Pintrest I came up with an idea very similar to those compliment lists of old. I made a trail of hearts that led to one big heart each day for the first 14 days of February. Each day was someone else's special day and they could follow the little hearts from their room to where the big heart was located, somewhere else in the house. On the big heart I wrote them a simple compliment and some days I left a treat or special gift. It has been three years now, since I started this tradition, and I can honestly say that it helps me so much. Everyday I am reminded of the things I love about my husband and daughters. Everyday I am looking at the positive.
My youngest, Reese, is very excited when it is her turn and looks forward to what each day will bring. This year she asked me, "Mom where are your hearts?"
"Sweetheart, I don't make myself hearts." was my reply.
So John and the girls decided to make me my very own heart and leave me a gift. (Reese secretly hoping that I will share my gift.) Last night I could hear them laughing as they cut and decorated hearts of all sizes. It was precious to hear and makes me feel like my heart could burst. Afterwards, Reese kept running up to me giving me extra hugs and kisses.
This morning Reese came to me and begged me to get out of bed and go get the gift and see the heart. Then she made sure to show me where to go. She was so excited and it was so cute. I think she was almost as excited for me to get my heart as she was to get her own heart.
Through this tradition I am reminded and hopefully I am teaching my family that: When we look for the positive in those around us, it fills our heart with love and makes our homes a happier place to be.
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