I don't watch or read or listen to the news very much. On purpose. I remember distinctly the moment I gave up on it as a regular pastime. I was sitting at my work desk thinking about my future children and how scary the world will be for them. I had just finished reading the latest updates on rapes, murders, corrupt politicians, etc. My heart was so filled with fear that I physically felt ill. You see I used to have a morning ritual of scouring the news sites on the internet. In fact, they were my homepage.
That day was a turning point for me, though. I thought to myself: "Why do I subject myself to the horrific details of these crimes on a daily basis? Is this really what most people are like?" Those thoughts made me want to run and hide in some beautiful forest surrounded by nature and peace. Then I looked around me at my co-workers. No, they were not perfect. Many of them irritated me for one reason or another at some point and I am sure I did the same to them. Still they made me laugh, they were nice on occasion and they celebrated birthdays with cake (Fudgey the whale ice cream cake from Carvel's was my favorite). My thoughts turned to my family and friends that I loved dearly. They were amazing people that showed me love, compassion, kindness, laughter, and so many other good things in life.
That was when I came to the realization that I needed to stop reading the news religiously. Now, I do read or see an occasional news report or article. I will watch when their is a major event. Mostly because I want to see the inspirational stories that come out of the horror. You see that is what I want. I want to know the good people do when they are faced with trauma.
You may be wondering what all this has to do with the military. Well I will tell you. Being a military spouse means that a news report about a war in a foreign country is no longer a random story. That could be my spouse, a friends spouse, or someone we know and love. More than that. Stories of wars brewing make me hug my husband a little longer, love him a little more. I never know when something will happen and he will be called away. Away being a foreign country where people will shoot at him and he will be trying to save lives while they shoot.
I don't want to hear about the latest helicopter crash stateside or in another country. I will not let myself live in fear every time my husband gets in that black hawk. I know what can and may happen, but I refuse to give up my happiness for fear of those things. My husband loves his job and I love him. I have been married for fifteen years and have endured my husband when he has a job he doesn't like. It is miserable for our whole family. I have a choice in my life too. I can choose how I feel about my husbands job and I choose to be happy. It pays the bills and takes care of our family in so many ways.
Knowledge is power, but what kind of knowledge to we want to gain. What do we want to have in our lives. No matter what happens in the world around us, we choose what we allow into our lives. When we choose what we watch and read we are allowing those shows and books into our lives. What do you want in your life? More celebrity gossip? More stories of horrible crimes that give the perpetrator a voice?
I want so desperately to fight the trend and to say to all those who are doing evil, "I don't care about what you did and why you did it. I want to know the victors over the trauma that you inflicted. That is what I want to let into my life and brain. I don't care what your name is because I only want to remember those who do good. You may like to incite fear into people, but you can not have mine. I choose to fight fear and to celebrate those who came to the rescue and helped instead of hurt." So bring me more Cinderella stories please. I want to know those who overcame the worst life had to offer and still found their own way to happiness.
Really well expressed Jen :). I like the idea of more stories about people helping and overcoming.
ReplyDelete